Saturday, March 29, 2014

Just Another Saturday Night in the W Household

Seriously...there is never a dull moment in the W household!  And yet, when I ask and inquire and try to fit the pieces of an ill-fitting story together, I receive ridicule:


Scott and I sitting in the bedroom watching a movie.
All three kids upstairs playing fairly quiet.

Jackson: Ivie has to go poop.
Me: Ivie has pooped three times today. I'm not interested.
Jackson: Side eye look
Scott: Clearly not his concern

Enter stage left Ivie.

Jackson: Ivie has poop hanging out of her butt.

Scott jumps up and gets her to the pot.
Me: What the hell is going on?

Jackson and Aida muddling through a story, talking over each other: "We were playing in the tent..." "I smelled something" "Ivie said she farted" "But it smelled BAD" "Yeah, BAD" "Then Ivie had poop hanging out of her butt."

Ivie exits from the bathroom no pants and a very concerned experession on her face.

Me: WHAT!?!?! Is there poop upstairs?
J and A: No
Me: What do you mean no? You said she had poop hangning out of her butt.
J and A: Right
Me: So... is there poop on her pants?
J and A: No.
Me: Is there poop on the steps, walls, tent?
J and A: No, no, no.
Scott chuckles. I glare.

Me: I don't understand. You said she had poop hanging out of her butt upstairs, now she's downstairs.
Scott: Well, clearly she had a very uncomfortable walk downstairs...
Me: Glare
Scott to kids talking as though I'm not standing right there: See Mama is trying to make sense of out this story.

Um...yeah...I mean, REALLY? Is this normal? In everyday life do other people just talk about a 4 year old walking down the steps with poop hanging out of their butt? Does ANYONE have this conversation?

As usual, I'm odd man out because I am tyrin to make sense of parenthood.  Scott is SO much better because he just goes with it. Me, I try to connect the dots, analyze, prescribe, diagnosis and fix.  I guess with kids sometimes you just have to say "ok" and move on.

So, no there was no sign of poop anywhere. I still don't get it.

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