Saturday, March 29, 2014

Just Another Saturday Night in the W Household

Seriously...there is never a dull moment in the W household!  And yet, when I ask and inquire and try to fit the pieces of an ill-fitting story together, I receive ridicule:


Scott and I sitting in the bedroom watching a movie.
All three kids upstairs playing fairly quiet.

Jackson: Ivie has to go poop.
Me: Ivie has pooped three times today. I'm not interested.
Jackson: Side eye look
Scott: Clearly not his concern

Enter stage left Ivie.

Jackson: Ivie has poop hanging out of her butt.

Scott jumps up and gets her to the pot.
Me: What the hell is going on?

Jackson and Aida muddling through a story, talking over each other: "We were playing in the tent..." "I smelled something" "Ivie said she farted" "But it smelled BAD" "Yeah, BAD" "Then Ivie had poop hanging out of her butt."

Ivie exits from the bathroom no pants and a very concerned experession on her face.

Me: WHAT!?!?! Is there poop upstairs?
J and A: No
Me: What do you mean no? You said she had poop hangning out of her butt.
J and A: Right
Me: So... is there poop on her pants?
J and A: No.
Me: Is there poop on the steps, walls, tent?
J and A: No, no, no.
Scott chuckles. I glare.

Me: I don't understand. You said she had poop hanging out of her butt upstairs, now she's downstairs.
Scott: Well, clearly she had a very uncomfortable walk downstairs...
Me: Glare
Scott to kids talking as though I'm not standing right there: See Mama is trying to make sense of out this story.

Um...yeah...I mean, REALLY? Is this normal? In everyday life do other people just talk about a 4 year old walking down the steps with poop hanging out of their butt? Does ANYONE have this conversation?

As usual, I'm odd man out because I am tyrin to make sense of parenthood.  Scott is SO much better because he just goes with it. Me, I try to connect the dots, analyze, prescribe, diagnosis and fix.  I guess with kids sometimes you just have to say "ok" and move on.

So, no there was no sign of poop anywhere. I still don't get it.

Sunday, March 9, 2014

Polar Vortex

It's cold here in Ohio. That's really all people talk about.  "Hey, how are you today". "Oh, sure is cold out there." Every conversation.  The Polar Vortex and all of the Weather Channel-suspensefully-named winter storms of 2014 are about the only thing going on in Northeast Ohio.  In true Ohio fashion...seriously, the weather has sucked.  I can't remember when I've experienced a winter like this one. It's horrible. Why do I live here?

The kids are doing well.  We had a rough first week of February as Aida battled a serious eye infection in the hospital for three days.  As a parent, the resilience of your children and the ability of you to cope is amazing. I didn't realize the seriousness of the infection until she was out of the hospital. God works in great ways. It was a good thing. It kept me sane during the three-day hospital stay. I was a zombie but it saved me and I was able to care for Aida. Thank God.

JHRW is doing well. Baseball these days is serious biz. I mean seriously, he's 8. He practices indoors once a week. When I was eight we practiced when and if the weather was nice in April.

Ivie is Ivie. She is an enormous ball of energy and laughter in our house. Her and Scott are best friends and she has started calling him her "friendy friend". She addresses him as friend, not daddy.

This winter has been hard; not just weather wise but emotionally. I'm looking forward to spring and the blossoming of new opportunities, fresh air and sunshine.