Tuesday, November 6, 2012

Dirty Politics

When we were a family of just three, Scott and I started using the term "dirty politics".  This was a term that we used to describe those times when the other parent would use bribery, scare-tactics or just plain lying to win over little Jackson.  I know right.  This sounds awful.  How can two loving parents compete for the love of their two-year old?  I'm not proud, but it's the truth and this blog is about the truth, right?.

Well, the dirty politics of the W household has continued through two more children:  "Aida, now look at Mama, what has she done for you lately?  I've given you ice cream and fruit snacks."; "Jackson, Daddy doesn't pack your lunches, I do.  Who takes you to practice, I do.  Love you, little boy!".

I KNOW sad.  We're awful.

Well, tonight the W household had its own election:  President of the W household.  Who ran: Daddy versus Mama.

Daddy's Platform:  I will give you candy and chocolate ALL of the time.  Late bed times...ALWAYS! (cheers). Now my opponent, Megan, she is going to saddle you with rules and early bedtimes.  She's not fun AND she enforces rules (boos).

Result:  Instant acceptance by three little kids.  Even Ivie said, "Daddy, daddy, DADDY!"

Jackson:  "Mama, what's your plan?"

Me:  "Well, Jackson..."

Scott: "I'll tell you about my opponent, Mama, she is NOT fun.  You will have to shower, brush your teeth and no candy for anyone.  You want a fun, vote for me!" (cheers)

Me:  "Well, if my opponent would let me speak: If you vote me president of the house, there will be a constant party:  Loud music, strobe lights, disco balls every night!  Cupcake baking every other night and a constant flow of fruit snacks!"

Me (continued): "And your Daddy is lying...lying I tell you! And another thing:  He won't enforce rules.  You won't shower. You won't brush your teeth and you'll lose friends (yes, I went there)!  Jackson, do you want friends?" (frantically shakes his head yes)

Scott:  "Seriously, scare tactics?  You would."

Votes for Mama:  1 (Jackson)  Votes for Daddy:  1 (Aida)  Swing  Vote:  1 (Ivie)

Dirty politics.

1 comment: